i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
