I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
My life is pants optional.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
