Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
