I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
