dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
