I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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