those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
