I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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