I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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