Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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