You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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