if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize