I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
