belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
