Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
