In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Randomize
