I feel like I'm in dance class right now
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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