well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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