I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
