so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize