I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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