I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Sorry my hands just texted you
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
