I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
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