I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
The air taste purple.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
