Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
