I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Randomize
