so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
