i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
