Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
