I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
