She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
