It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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