I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
