I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
