She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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