I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
