so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
