i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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