One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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