Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
