So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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