she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
