i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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