i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i think my mom watched the whole time
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize