Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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