So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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