I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
