Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
