Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
