I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
