I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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