dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
i now understand why vodka
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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