I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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