i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
