$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
