well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize