I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
