I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
