I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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