just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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