somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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