i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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