why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
