a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
