That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
